Wellity, wellity, well! Look who’s back! Didja miss me? Waddya mean, “No!”. Well, never I have been so insulted in my life!…………………………Except that one time when I was at the International Insult Tournament in the beautiful village of Twatt, Shetland Islands; where I was called a “dobba”, a “mongoloid shoe-fucker” and a “rectum-faced-bucket-of-sex-sauce”. And that was just in the car park!
Anyhoo, another international sporting tournament is underway and I’m shoe-horning my (lack of) sporting knowledge and metal musical discoveries together for yet another highly unpopular edition of ‘Sporting Tournament of Metal’! So come one, come all for a tournament where ethnic unpleasantness, religious bigotry, terrorism and all round, outright thuggery and hatred will appear at stadiums all over La Belle France and the cafes and bars of the nearby towns. Oh, and some football may be on offer too.
GAME 1: FRANCE vs ROMANIA
MOURNING DAWN vs VOID FORGER
With a name like Mourning Dawn, you’d expect the band to play some kind of depressive, doom metal, throw in some black metal riffs and howls and you’d be correct. Hefty riffs and great guitar solos and meaty songs keep the listener enthralled. Add the despairing, howling vocals of Laurent, and Mourning Dawn have the depth and range to become a pretty big thing.
http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Mourning_Dawn/27495
https://mourningdawn.bandcamp.com/
Void Forger are a Romanian trio who play a mixture of crust, sludge and death metal. Murky production values, great riffs and some pretty good songs to boot. A grimy, sludgy way to start the day.
http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Void_Forger/3540345909
https://voidforger.bandcamp.com/album/ruined-demo
PREDICTION:
Opening game of the tournament and I really can’t see past the French winning this. Expectations will be high and they’ll probably scrape by with a single goal, but it’ll be good enough for all three points and will leave the French favourites to win their group. Second place will be fought out between Romania and Switzerland leaving Albania the wooden spoonists of Group A. (watch as this prediction will blow up in my face!)
Musically, both bands are good however Mourning Dawn tickles my depressive fancy more than Void Forger. Allez Les Bleus!
see more brilliant David Squires cartoons at: http://www.theguardian.com/profile/david-squires
Hilarity, football, metal, more hilarity, more metal, and a little more football. YOU are AWESOME!!
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Thanks, IK! There will be more hilarity, football and metal coming your way soon! Always glad of your support!
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I agree 100% with Intricate Knot’s comment, (which is a good thing for my mental health). I have zero, count that zero, interest in Euro 2016 and yet somehow you’ve made me yearn to–okay, well maybe I’m still not into sports per-se, but I can’t wait for your next post! Your knowledge and fearless exploration of metal music AND most especially your wacky humor are fab. U. Lous.
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Hello Merrie! I’ll turn you into a sports fan yet! Glad you like the post and the music!
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